Life with Jianna

These were better Day's oh how I miss them

2011-10-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

These were Better Day's oh how I miss them

2011-10-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

Haven't looked at this Blog in a while, so much has changed....I look at these pictures and my post and they bring tear's to my eyes, for those were better days...I miss what my family once was...I miss the completeness of my home..so much heartache, not only for myself, but for Dante and our three beautiful children...I tried so hard to avoid the misery that has now taken over our lives...I never wanted this, no one did...but not wanting it was not enough to have kept it together...I just wish you would have heard my cries, and that "we" could have held on to our family...Divorce is a heart breaking thing...everyone suffer's...God how I wish I could have done more.....God Bless

Wonderful Time , Wonderful Friends

2008-07-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

What a Great 4th Of July!!!!! When I went to China ( without my family ) I was very blessed to have travel with 28 Wonderful families....But I could have never done the trip without one family...They traveled with their adorable son Zach and was to receive their Beautiful daughter Bella who was also from Nanning.... Not once during my trip did I ever feel alone....They are the warmest, caring , loving people that you would ever meet and I am so fortunate to have them in my Life...Any way since then Dante has met them a few time "( Reunions, we have gone to visit them and they have come to our home ) What can I say we adopted them as our extended family....Well this 4th of July they came to visit us for 2 days and we had such a great time BBQING , hanging out in the pool....the kids just get along so well ...and Bob and Dante are so much alike....and Tina well I just Love her!!!!! She is an amazing women.....We even like them after Bostion kicked our butts : )
I just want to say to you Tina and Bob that we Love you and thank you for all you have done and been for us....When I was in China I would call Dante and tell him so much about how wonderful my travel group was , and how Tina and Bob always was there to lend me a helping hand.. and now he sees first hand what I was talking about.....You truly are our Jia'2 Aunt and Uncle ....we hope that we will always be forever in eachothers lives......Thank you for making our 4th of July a Great one!!!!

Carmen, Dante, Michael , Steven and Jianna

Time with DAD

2008-05-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

What can I say, How do I put into words what my heart is feeling....Complete, Content, Loved, wanted....So many years have gone by, time we will never get back....but thats ok, because we found eachother and I will never loose him again. The day he was to pick me up from my Hotel, we walked past eachother a few times...than I looked and said " DADDY" he than turned around came my way and with tears in his eyes he held me....my dad , crying for me...weeping like a child in my arms ....my thoughts " he loves me " and thats all I needed...all tha I had rehearsed in my mind , all that I was going to say ....went away...for that was no longer important...this was a new start...and I had to let go Of the past , my anger...if I were to begin a future that was positive with this man.... On the way to his house , as he was driving he spoke of how he did not feel as he was deserving of this opportunity, but very greatful for it...tears would come down his face ....and I just found myself feeling sorry for this man, and for his suffering....I realized, that we both suffered....we both hurt and we both cried for not having eachother in our lives...I wiped his cheek with my hands and was so thankful to have these moments with him...for the first time in my life I had my Dad and it felt good.....His wife is such a beautiful women, she gave us our time , she knew what this time meant to both of us, and for that I am greatful.....

He would make me breakfast in bed.... We played Dominos and although he would never admit to it I beat him bad : ) I went to his church with him and was so proud of him as he spoke ....one point my dad told his members that he would speak in english for a few moments because he wanted me to truly understand what he was saying,,,, and with his Ricky Ricardo voice : ) he begged for my forgiveness and told me he loved me....as he spoke , tears flowed down my face and he cried as well...our eyes were locked on eachother and at that moment , all was forgiven......

What I have learned, Life is to short ....I did not want to get a phone call one day from someone saying that my Dad was no longer with us....I did not want to live my life with regrets....I have my Dad now....and life is good.....life is very good.....
Yo te amore me papa....I love YOU Dad
Carmen

MY WISH FOR THIS MOTHERS DAY

2008-05-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

My Wish For This Mothers Day

What can I wish for mothers day that I don't already have, I have a Husband who Loves me, 3 Healthy Children who Love me and who I would do anything for....But yet what I wish for myself is not for the obvious, I wish to have a relationship with my dad....I have not seen him in almost 12 years...those of you who know me very well know why...I can't remember ever waking up with him in our home, or having him come to anything that what important to me when I was a child...For so many years I held on to this wasted anger and hatred for this man who maybe at the time just did not know how to be a dad... Yes he walked down with me on my wedding day, but how sad I felt that th is man walking beside me felt like a stranger...this man who is giving me away was never there for me in the first place, but yet I held on to him for I would have taken anything he would have given me.As I grew up and had my first child who is now almost 16 I remember calling my father and telling him I was to be a mom....His reaction very surprising he bagan to cry...why was he crying...later I would find out it was because at that very moment he realized that his little girl was not so little anymore...he came to the realization that the job he should have done was no longer needed or so he thought. The day would come and my Angel was born and guess who would appear my dad...I thought to myself perhap he realizes that he is still needed , perhaps its not to late....after a while of visiting me he again left my life...I later found out that I was to be a mom again I called him but t his time not much of a reaction, oh well I thought, what am I to do... 10 years later He found out that I could not carry anymore children and that I was to go to China to receive our Beautiful Daughter and again he cried , My father is a MINISTER and he prayed that everything would go well and that I would make it home safe with my daughter...While in China the phone rang and yes it was my dad ...Now my father never calls me , so for him to call me while I was in China was HUGE!!!! I said to myself and to my husband if he continues to reach out to me for 1 year , I will go and visit him . During this past year he called me for Mothers Day, for th e first time in 41 years he called me for my Birthday and Christmas...he calls me every other week and we are growing as father and daughter....So With all of that being said, this Friday I leave to Florida to spend a week with my Dad...I never spent a week with him not even as alittle girl....But what I found in my older years , is that life is just toooo short to try to correct the past...the past is just that the past...but what I can try to do with the help of my dad is to make a better future...and to show my children by example of the importance forgivness is.....When my Dad left me, he left me with a very angry, bitter, abusive women ...who YEAP, I don't talk to ..you see unlike my dad, My mom will never admit to her wrong doings...so I can't try with someone who does not even care to....I want to take this time to speak with him and let him know what I had to deal with as a child because of his absence....and to also show him that I am ok...and That I want to forgive him and move on....
What I want for Mothers Day you ask??? I want MY DAD , Like every little girl that has grown up I will forever need him in my life...So although I am very nervous about this Friday , I know that I can do this , with an open heart and an open Mind you , me and everyone can do anything.....Here goes....wish me luck!!! And to all of You BEAUTIFUL MOMS IN THE WORLD, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY...
And to my Sweet daughter, I know there will come a day when you yourself will have to deal with some issues of your own with regards to you Bio parents, I can only hope that I can help you along the way by leading by example...... I LOVE YOU JIANNA, MICHAEL AND MY STEVEN....

Daddys not so little girl
Carmen

We are Back : (

2008-04-29T16:54:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!!!!!

Well we got back last night , and what can I say our trip was amazing, romantic everything that we could have asked for!
On our 25th anniversary Dante and I started off the day getting a massage together...the spa was beautiful!!! we then went to lunch had a great day at the beach, had wonderful conversation, without any INTERUPTIONS from our little ones : ) Later that day as we were going to our room, I noticed rose petals in front of our door..when I entered the room I could not believe what my Husband has pulled off....There were rose petals everywhere on the bed on the floor , there was a bubble bath .....surrounded by candels and petals in the tub....the most beautiful flower arrangement in the room that he had ordered the day before......who knew my husband had it in him...... later that night we ate dinner in our room and just enjoyed eachothers company , thats private : O

Being together with someone for 25 years is something that we are both very proud of....sure we have our problems, who does not.....however, what I know is that n o matter how bad times can get or what obstacles we have faced, Dante is the man for me......No marriage is perfect...although many of you think ours is....it takes hard work, commitment and Love and that is something that I am proud to say we both have for eachother....sometimes we forget the thing that brought us together, or the quality in that person that made you fall in love with them ....sometimes, you just need to reconnect and find in that person the thing that attracted you to them in the first place... Sometimes, you have to stop being Mommy and daddy, and just be Carmen and Dante,,,,, And what I found is that Dante and I love eachother as much today as we did 25 years ago.....and that is something that I am proud of....although, sometimes I do want to kill him : )

Carmen

GOING AWAY TOMORROW!!!!!!

2008-04-23T05:14:00.000-07:00

I am soooooooo Happy !!!!! tomorrow We are going away!!!!! No kids : ) / : (
Happy to get a break, but very sad to leave the 3 of them...I have never left Jianna for one day let alone 5....
I know she will be fine, I am just concerned about me : ) My amazing Aunt Mary will be here from New Mexico
to Hang with the kiddies....shes wonderful...I use to like when she watched me as a child....so I know that
they are gonna be in GREAT hands....

As far as my LACK of bloggong goes, I have been horrible to say the least. Have been very busy with soccer, baseball, mikes theater, and his other many , many projects and lets not forget Princess Jia who is never more than 3 steps behind me,
she is growing up so fast! Shes an amazing little girl, she cracks me up....funnier than me! She is talking alot...
grew 4 inches since she has been home.....and has gained 15 pounds doubled her weight in a year! She Loves music any
kind and dances to everything. Still eating us out of house and home : ) and we are loving every minute of having her in our lives.... Refuses to potty train!!!! help!!!! she will sit on that potty until the cows come home with nothing....but
as soon as you take her off....BAM she does her thing : ) Love her sooooo much!!!!!!

Anyway I will post again once I return.....

Love ya all

Carmen and The rest of the gang

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2008-03-08T14:59:00.001-08:00

Dantes HUGE Surprise!!!!

2008-02-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

This April 27 it will be 25 years that Dante and I are together......My amazing Husband has planned a Romantic vacation for just the "2" of us!!!!!!!!!!! He is flying my Aunt in from New Mexico to watch our 3 children for "5" day so that he and I can go to the " DOMINICAN REPUBLIC" We a re staying in Punta cana at the Excellence resort and Spa!!!!!! He booked the ocean view Suite, we are going to have couple spa treatments, and horseback ride on the beach! the resort is only for ADULTS : )
Now don't get me wrong LOVE my kids....however, 5 days alone with my amazing husband sounds GREAT!!!!!
I am so Happy and proud of our being together for 25 years...I love this man so much!!!!!! he has given me everything.......I am truly a lucky girl! So Thank You Dante for planning such an amazing trip for the 2 of us!!!!!! I Love You with all that I am!

ONE LUCKY LADY
Carmen Pagano

Reflecting on my Daughter

2008-02-22T05:44:00.001-08:00

As the months pass by, I am amazed at just how much JIanna has grown, and changed....She is so funny....loves to dance. she is so loving.....gives tons of hugs and kisses eveyday...even when we are shopping and leaving the store, she yells goodbye to everyone and throws kisses....to complete strangers, She Loves to sing with me....funny thing, is that I have the worst voice EVER, and yet she always is asking me to sing to her....and while I sing she sings with me......She loves to help...always saying " I HELP U" She is our house nurse, if anyone is hurt or sick, nurse Jia is there to care for you....She smiles and she just makes me smile too. She has brought so much to not only my life , but to all that meet her.... this weekend was her baptism, her Godfather Peter said a toast.....and It nearly brought tears to my eyes.....my brother in law is not one of many words, but when he talks he speaks the truth and speaks from the heart.....he said....That he is proud of us, and that Jianna has brought so much to ALL of our lives...and that we all have learned so much from her...He adores her so much.....I see how he looks at her and it just makes me want to melt. I agree with him, she has brought so much to our lives, and she has shown so many people in our lives that you don't have to give birth to a child, or share the same blood lines to Love a child ...I am so proud to say that not one person in my family or our friends have ever treated Jianna differently ...my Mother and Father in law adore this child...she has pushed her little way in all our hearts and she is our hero, our teacher, our brave little girl. Life is beautiful when you open your mind and your hearts....Love can been found all over the world....Our Jianna was so meant to be our daughter, when she looks up at her Italian grandparents and call them NONNA AND NONNO there faces just light up, when she sees pictures of her family around the house and she names them all and kisses their pictures, too cute....when she tries to eat nonnas pasta with a spoon and a fork like we all do....cracks me up. when we pull up in our drive way and she says " HOME MOMMY, HOME" I get teary...yes my love this is your home, we are your family and you will never be without ever again......Everything does happen for a reason....it truly does....I am so happy and will forever be thankful that my lifes journey brought me to My Angel....It was a heck of a ride....and had its ups and downs, but in the end....I would not have changed it for anything in the world.

Thank you Jjianna for enriching our lives
Thank you for being the wonderful Daughter, sister, granddaughter , Niece and friend that you are to all that know you.
WE ARE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

MOMMY AND DADDY

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2008-02-17T18:39:00.001-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

2008-02-14T07:07:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to wish my sweet children Michael, Steven and Jianna a Happy Valentines Day....I am truly a very fortunate women to have three Beautiful, Loving, caring, giving children. Everyday I get to see these 3 amazing individuals....they are everything I live for , they make my life so wonderful.....Michael is my rock, he is everything that I wish I could have been as a teenager, heis telented, funny, creative, he is someone I look up to ( being 6 feet tall, I have to look up to him ) He and I both have the same disabilities.....we are both dyslexic...and I must say that Mike has never once allowed his disability from getting great grades....he get A's and B's and just last week he was given a academic achievement award for MATH.....I idolize this young man.....he is and will always be my hero.

And then there is my Beautiful, cute as heck Steven...my miracle child....you see after I had mike, I had 2 miscarriages and my doctor thought that I would not have another bio child....boy was he wrong....Steven is my miracle...he's my warm, loving , strong willed little athlete....he's the kind of son that would make any man proud.....he loves just to sit with his dad and watch any kind of sports......he has the sweetest laugh.....and no matter how big he sometimes thinks he is, at the end of each day he wants his mommy and daddy to tuck him in. He is adorable, and he knows it : ) but most of all he's my little man and I just adore him.

And my Angel Jianna, oh what can I say about my sweet little girl....she lights up my world, she makes me want to be the best that I can be.....shes my sugar and spice and everything nice. Shes her daddys biggest fan....she has opened my heart to so many different things....she has gone through so much in her little life...she is strong, she is smart, she is affectionate , and she is so mushy even more than I am ....she may be little , but she leaves an impression on all who meet her. She has taught Dante, Me and the boys that if you open your heart and you open your mind, you can find love all aroud this beautiful world....she is my daughter , she is my dreams come true, she is my little girl.....and its always music to my ears when she looks up at me kisses my leg and says " Jia love you mommy" Or when the kid are in bed and you hear the boys say goodnight Jia and she says goodnight mike and steve " love you" Night dada Love you....what better way to end the day then hearing the voices of your children saying they love eachother....

And last but not least my Husband......What can I say about Dante....he's my rock, he's my love of my life....He has never , ever gone to sleep in 25 years without telling me he loves me.....he saved me from a horibble life and he has shown me the true meaning of what being a family is...He allows me to always just be me....and for some reason he still loves me : ) he never fails me....now sure we have our differences.....what marriage doesn't ....and yes we have had our share of problems, but, there has not been one day in the last 25 years that he has left me ... from 17 years of age to now we have always been together....he is such a commited humanbeing,,,,he is a wonderful dad, my best friend, my everything.....And He's kinda nice to look at : )

so with all of that being said, I guess everyday is valentines day for me ........
Happy Valentines day to my family and wonderful friends

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2008-02-09T17:54:00.001-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!

2008-02-07T04:32:00.001-08:00

Thinking back

2008-02-06T05:58:00.000-08:00

Feb 1 was our referral anniversary...this is when you are matched with your forever child and the adoption agency calls you with info such as her name, age, DOB, and province....I can't believe that its been a year since we first got the call about our Jianna. although Jia has been home with us for only 9 months, it feels as she has always been with us.....It amazes me how well she fits in with us ...How can I explain it......or even put into words what Jianna means to our family...This little person, this Angel.....she brings so much joy into all of our lives.....she completes us...and she was so meant to be our child. I look at her ...and I have to pinch myself...how can we be so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter.....Adoption has been a blessing for our family.....The boys just adore her....her dad is one of her biggest fans , ( besides me of course}

I will be forever greatful to her Bio mom and dad for giving our daughter a chance....and for loving her so much so, that they put her in a place where they knew she would be safe ...and for giving her a chance and for giving us a chance to be " HER FAMILY"
I could never imagine, how it must have felt, to have carried a child for 9 mo nths and then have to give her away....My only wish , is that Jia's Bio mom would some day know that we took very good care of her and that we Loved her enough for all of us her Bio parents and her adoptive Parents. Its hard not to be able to thank someone for giving you such a precious gift as your child...we thank people everyday for everything.....but yet, I will never have the opportunity to look in this womens eyes and say Thank You....thank you for loving Jia , thank you for giving her life, and thank you for so much for all that is you in her.....she is beautiful , she is funny, she loves music and loves to dance, she is caring, she is amazing....she is you and she is me.

2 women from different parts of the world, will forever be bonded by one amazing child......
Thank you

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2008-02-03T10:31:00.001-08:00

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2008-02-02T06:47:00.001-08:00

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2008-02-02T06:41:00.001-08:00

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2008-02-02T06:37:00.003-08:00

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2008-02-02T06:37:00.001-08:00

Making Jia a few memory books, can you please contribut by leaving her a little message...

2008-01-17T05:45:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone

Well I am starting to make Jianna some memory books....and I just thought that it would be nice if you guys can leave her a message ....something that I could print and put in her books....Seeing that I did not get my Amazing daughter until she was almost 2 yrs old, I feel sad that I don't have baby pictures of her...just the few that I rec'd from the orphange...I don't have any memories to share with her from when she was 1 day to 21 months....so I just want to make wonderful memories with her and have them documented in her memory books....so please , It would be greatly appreciated if our wonderful friends and family can just take some time and drop a little note for her.....I know that when she gets old enough to read them....it will mean alot to her.......

Many Thanks
Jianna's mommy

HOW COULD ANYONE NOT LOVE THIS FACE : )

2008-01-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

I was taking pix of Jia...for her Baptism Invites.....and she looked at me and said " mommy all done" The pix below is when she said that to me...sooo cute.....how did we ever get so lucky to have her in our lives....

2007 WHAT AN AMAZING YEAR!

2007-12-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

2007 was such an amazing year ......Our daughter came home.....what more is there to say......Jia's home.....and life is good.
I look at all 3 of our amazing kids....and wonder what more can I ever want....

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Carmen , Dante, Michael, Steven and Jianna Rose Pagano

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

2007-12-26T11:41:00.001-08:00

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2007-12-26T09:35:00.001-08:00

WHAT A WONDERFUL YEAR ITS BEEN

2007-12-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

As the year comes to an end, I think back at all the wonderful things that have happened to our family. Our Jianna coming home ahs been a dream come true, having her home, where she belongs with us her family is all the gift I need.....I can't believe she has only been home for 8 months, she truly is our daughter, she completes our family, she is all that I have ever wanted in a daugter, and so much more. She lights up a room, she fills our hearts, she makes us laugh, she teaches us so much, we as a family have come to appreciate all the little things in life, because of her. Everything to her is a new experience, and as her family we are honored to be able to share all her many first with her.

Our Boys have always made me proud, they are just amazing human beings. But seeing them with her, loving her the way they do, just makes me so filled with emotions. These young men , are so loving, so accepting, so giving....I am so blessed to be the one they call mom.....I sit here and look at our 3 BEAUTIFUL children, and I can only wonder what did I ever do in my life to deserve such amazing children. I am in aw by them, I know as parents it is our job to teach our children, but the funny thing is, my children teach me so much......I am thankful for this past year, I am appreciative of all that I have.....and no not material things, but my family.....being surrounded , everyday by these 3 children who just love me and their daddy so much , is all the gift I need .....

And my husband, what can I say....after loosing 3 children during pregnancy, and being told that we could never have anymore children....nearly destroyed me....I am so very greatful that Dante opened his heart to the idea of adoption. He not only allowed me to follow my dreams, but as time went on he came to the realization that my dreams of adopting would also become his dream. I see the way he looks at Jianna.....and I am reminded as to why I Love this Man so very much.

Those who know me, know that my life was a very hard one......And if someone was to tell me when I was a young girl that I would have such a wonderful life, with a family and a man who Loves and respects me...I would have looked at them as if they were crazy. But I can only hope that my story will one day show other girls who have been abused, neglected and hurt , that if they truly believe in themselves, and if they never give up on their dreams....life will get better. Don't ever listen to the negative , don't ever believe that you are worthless, don't ever give up on yourself.....and just believe, that if you work hard, don't let the bad prevail, and listen to your inner self and not those who are trying to keep you down,,,,,you too will have the life you truly deserve. I am so proud of myself, and that is not something I say very often.......I turned a negative into a positive......I am and will always be a surviver.........

Thank you to Michael, Steven , Dante and Jianna for teaching me

FCC (Families with Children From China )Xmas Party

2007-12-10T06:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went to the yearly FCC Xmas Party....Dante and I are so proud to be part of this amazing group of families who like us have been blessed with our beautiful Angels from China. We find that these gatherings are not only important for Jia , but also just as important to Our Michael and Steven...because its at these get togethers, when they get to see and play with other brothers and sisters who have also opened their hearts and homes to their sisters or brothers who we have been fortunate enough to have been able to have join our families. At one point during the party all the children and parents were sitting on the floor, christmas carols playing, and one by one each childs name was called so that they could go up to see Sant and receive a gift. It was at that moment that I looked at my amazing Husband and he at me and with watery eyes we felt as if we were the most luckiest people alive...we felt such peace, such love and such graditude for having 3 amazing children , for having eachother and for having the FCC.

Slide show below
One proud MAMA

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2007-12-09T15:31:00.000-08:00

Jianna's 1st time seeing Snow! Check out the slide shpw below.

2007-12-05T07:05:00.001-08:00

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2007-12-05T04:54:00.001-08:00

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2007-11-26T06:04:00.001-08:00

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2007-11-14T07:27:00.001-08:00

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2007-10-14T06:55:00.001-07:00

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2007-10-09T19:20:00.001-07:00

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2007-10-07T18:55:00.001-07:00

SHE INSPIRES ME

2007-09-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

What can I asy , she inspires me.....I look at my daughter and my boys and I just want to be a better person.... I want to make them proud of their mother...I want to teach them to help others....and to always appreciate what they have....I look at Jianna , and I am thankful, for having her in my life.....she teaches me so much....she inspires me....and because of her, I want to do more for other children in need.....so what I was thinking the other day, was......so many of us came back from China with Extra Yuans (chinese money) that we will never use....so what if we put ALL of our Yuans together and helped some BEAUTIFUL Children in desperate need of surgeries in China....There are so many little ones who need heart surgeries, cleft surgeries....etc...so if you are interested in joining me .....please let me know.....

AND For those who have not adopted, but who would like to help....I would love to hear from you......Just think of what we can do....if we " just try"..........

Carmen Pagano

Jianna Talked to Her Mr. Liu

2007-09-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

The other night , I was reading Mr. Liu's letter and I kept looking at his phone #.....and before I knew it I was on the phone dialing his number....Did not know what I was going to say ( because I don't know much Mandarin) but At the time I did not care...I just wanted him to hear Jia's voice....Jianna was in the bath and she talks ALOT when she is in the tub....Okay ,, now the phone began to ring and then I heard his sweet voice....he said hello in Chinese and I froze for one second and then I just said NE-HAO LIU......JIA JIA MAMA.....JIA JIA MAMA.......Then I put Jia on the phone and she too said Ne-hao BABA(father) JIA JIA....and thats it....he started laughing , and crying and saying JIA JIA....JIA ...JIA......AHHHH JIA JIA and then he cried some more.....jia was talking up a storm....and than I realize something, even though I was worried that I could not tell him very much, it did not matter....you see all he wanted to hear was the voice of his sweet Jianna....and lets face it half the time I don't understand what she's saying....but it does not matter....because in the end just hearing her voice and hearing her laughter is more than enough...to not only me , but to Mr. lui as well......just think , a few words went a loooonnnnnng way...

The following day, my Guide Glen who helped us while in china, said that Mr. Liu called him and told him of how happy our phone call to him made him....he told Glen that he cried tears of Joy when he heard my voice and Jia's voice......He said jia sounds happy....and that now he's happy.....

WE LOVE YOU MR. LIU
Carmen (MAMA) and your Jia Jia

YESTERDAY I RECEIVED MR. LIU'S LETTER!!!!

2007-09-12T04:34:00.000-07:00

For those who are not familiar with Sweet Mr. Liu, Mr Liu is a very old man who lived in the same building as the Orphanage..You see upstairs from the Orphange, there is a place where homeless old folks lived....and Mr. Liu for 21 months of my Jia's life would go downstairs , to play with her all of the time.....I believe, that its because of the LOVE THAT MR. LIU Gave Jia, that she is as affectionate as she is. Any way the day Jia was taken out of the Orphange , Mr. Liu cried for 4 days....reason being, he was told by the locals, that westerners adopt their babies so that we can sell their body parts ( HOW HORRIBLE) but believe it or not this is what many countries believe.....anyway once I heard of this and I was told that he had been crying , I asked my Guide ( GLEN) if he could take me and Jianna to see Mr. Liu before we left for the states......Long story short...I did meet him, so happy I did, I promised him that I would never harm our little jia, and all he wanted was pictures and letters sent to him once n a while....I promised him that I would,,,,,and I have..... Mr. Lliu has since rec'd my letters and photos....and guess what! yesterday My guide had e-mailed me a letter that Mr. Liu had sent him to translate for me......THE FOLLOWING IS THE LETTER:

Dear Dante and Carmen,

Hello! I was very delighted to receive your letter, I had to look for someone to help me write back to you since I did not receive much education. Please forgive me!

Dante and Carmen , I was really sad when my JIA JIA left me. She would go to America such a far away place. I could not hold her up and visit her anymore. I often cried for this. I am old now. I can't work and have a hard life. I could not provide a warm home for her. I was so gratified and satified that Jia Jia could have You, such kind people who would make her have a happy life, growing up happily and provide a nice environment for her and take care of her and love her. I knew it from your letter that you Loved Jia Jia so much, you let her learn Chinese and she could play with other Chinese adoptive girls, you show her my photos and let her Love Me. I was very appreciated for it. I also hope that you will mail some more photos of Jia Jias Life in America to me. Meanwhile, Thank you for your Love to Jia Jia and for you to write a letter to me. Please tell Jia Jia : grandpa love her and miss her forever...Thank you for your Kindness! Best wishes to all your family members!

Best Regards

Granpa of Zheng Jia ( JIA JIA): Liu, Huan

August 26, 2007

Attach : Grandpas Cell phone Number ############### ( I have the number : )
And he also Gave me his Address

ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE, I HAVE TO ADMIT ...I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF..... I kept my word....and to the Chinese, your word means EVERYTHING....I may have change one mans view of us as parent who adopt .....For so long he believed that we harm their children....Now I know I will never change the way the " WORLD" thinks of us......but I can sure try......one Mr. Liu at a time......and now perhaps My Mr. Liu will tell others in his village...and so on and so on....... and for that I can smile at myself when I little ole me ....carmen looks in the mirror today......My Grandma would be proud.......her name was Rose.....

Carmen Pagano
Proud Mother of Jianna "ROSE" Pagano

OUR 5 MONTH GOTCHA ANNIVERSARY!

2007-09-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Today is our 5 month Gothca anniversary!!!!! What can I say ......Having Jia in our lives....has been SO WONDERFUL..I still have to pinch myself.......how did I ever get so lucky....Having Mike, Steve and Jia in our lives just makes everyday a wonderful one...

Carmen and Dante
Proud Parents to some amazing Kids.....

JIS HAS BANGS!

2007-09-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

OKAY SO TODAY I GOT THE COURAGE TO CUT JIANNA'S BANGS MYSELF....I THINK THEY CAME OUT OKAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?????

CARMEN

LAST DAY BEING 40 : O

2007-08-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

Okay so, today is my last day being 40 : O Come tomorrow I will be "41" OUCH! It hurts to even type it : )
anyway...I remember when I was a teenager ( many moons ago) when I heard that someone was 30 I thought " boy their old" But not anymore oh no ...30 is the new 20, and 40 is also the new 20 : ) " sorry my rules" : ) so with that said, I just want to begin my fourty something years with my head held up high, after all, these days thats the only thing that I can still keep held up...gravity stinks : ) ...so fourty something here I come, and fifty stay far, far , far AWAY!!!!!!

HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!!!!
Carmen Pagano AND HER OLD MAN dANTE AND KIDS....

summer coming to an end : (

2007-08-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

Well as our summer comes closer to its end, I think back at all the wonderful things we got to do as a complete family....Having Jia with us just made our family even more wonderful than what it already was....She has shown us to see things differently...we now appreciate things more, and realize that family is the most important thing in the world....We are greatful for our 3 beautiful children...and we are proud that we have been together for 25 years...you see our biggest accomplishments, should not be measured by our jobs, how much money we have in the bank, how many shoes are in our closets, but by our family...and our commitments to eachother...I am proud that I have been able to grow from a teenager to a now 41 year old women with Dante, I am proud of the family we have built together...It has not always been easy....Sometime it was down right difficult...we have shared the most joyous experiences together to the most difficult of times together. But we have remained constant in one thing, we have always remained by eachothers side. This blog has been a gift to me...because of this blog , I took the time and sat down every week and shared with you my little life...and as I did that I realize how lucky I am to be able to write such wonderful things that are going on in my life...I never use to take the time to reflect on what was going on around me and now I do...And you know what , pretty happy about many things that I have been able to experience and write about...What can I say " NOT TO BAD CARMEN, NOT TO BAD"

CARMEN PAGANO

What A wonderful WEEKEND!

2007-08-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

What can I say our family had such a wonderful time this weekend at the Reunion! I am so lucky, not only to have traveled with these amazing people but to now be able to call them friends...what we share together is something that unless you have adopted it would be hard to understand....all 28 families traveled to China, missing something in our lives....Traveling with them and witnessing the Beauty of adoption with such wonderful people was and will always be something that I will forever carry in my heart. Seeing these babies enter their forever families 4 months ago, and now being able to see how the children have grown, and adapted so well...what can I say it was such a beautiful site to see...Seeing my Jianna with her Guangxi sisters just about brought tears of joy to my eyes.. I know that China travel Group # 137 will always be part of our lives, and I am very greatful to have them ...I was so happy that Dante and my boys could meet my travel mates...after all we a re now one BIG happy family...It is so very important to me that jIA STAY in touch with her Buddies.....And It is just as important to me that Dante the boys and I remain in touch with this amazing group of people...that I now can call my extended family....

Carmen Pagano

WOOOHOOOOO OUR TRAVEL GROUP IS GETTING TOGETHER THIS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY FOR OUR REUNION!!!

2007-08-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

I am so excited this Friday and Saturday Our travel group is getting together for our reunion!!!!!! I know its only been 3 months since we have brought our Beautiful babies home, but I miss them....I can't wait to see how all the babies have grown and changed! My travel group, our such amazing people, they have become like our 2nd family......I am also Happy that Dante and the boys will get to meet them, seeing that they did not travel with me to China, they were not as fortunate as I was to have spent 2 weeks with such a great group of people...Friday some of us are going to Six Flags, and on Saturday we are having our Reunion at a park ....I can't wait for Jianna to see her Chinese sisters and lets not forget Reece the one boy of the group....He is such a cutie!

Carmen and Family

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBY!!!!

2007-08-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it today IS my Dante's 42nd birthday....Happy birthday Sweet man of mine....Its been wonderful spending the past 25 years with you ...I have seen you grow from a teenage boy to such an amazing man...I am so proud to not only be your wife, but to have the gift of growing old with you ...What a wonderful journey its been...thank you for allowing me to share it with you...
Your Wife
carmen Pagano

2007-08-07T09:39:00.001-07:00

MR. LIU GOT MY LETTER AND PICTURES OF JIANNA!!!!

2007-08-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

I RECEIVED A E-MAIL TODAY FROM MY FRIEND Glen , he was our guide while we were in Nanning....and now he has become not only a very good friend, but family....As many of you know, while Jia was in the orphange, a sweet old man named mr. Liu would visit her everyday and played with her....as far as family was concerned, Mr. Liu was all Jia had and Jia was all the family Mr. Liu had.....you see although he has 2 adult daughters, they are both married and now are caring for their husbands parents.. Mr. Liu lived in the same buiding that Jia lived in....one of the floors in the building housed elderly homeless folks...... Anyway 4 days after I rec'd Jia, our guide, Glen informed me that the director of the orphanage called him, Mr. Lliu was very upset and cried for 4 days ...well I just could not leave China without seeing him...so off we went...When we arrived at the Orphanage, there he stood, this beautiful old man ...as soon as our van stopped he came to the car and took Jia in his arms...The Love that was in both their eyes was both wonderful and sad...wonderful because I was happy to know that Jia was sooooo loved, Sad because I knew that I was taking my daughter from the only family she had ever known....well to make a long story short, Mr. Liu cried because he was told that we adopt Chinese babies so that we can sell their body parts ( how awful, no wonder why that poor old man cried for days) I promised him that I would never harm her..and that what he heard was not true....I promised to Love her and make her happy...All Mr. Liu wanted was pictures of her....and I am happy to report, This week Glen e-mailed me saying that Mr. Liu got my Letter and the 20 Pictures of Jia and our family.....I felt so happy ,,,,I just wanted to cry.....I have come a long way.....I have grown up so much ....and I am so fortunate to have these beautiful kids....I am proud that I kept my word...I am proud that I did not let my sweet Mr. Liu Down....How can you ever thank someone enough for Loving your child , when you were not able to .....how can you ever thank someone enough for giving your baby all that you could not...Thank you Mr. Liu.....with all of my heart and soul, thank you for raising OUR child for her first 20 months of her life....I will NEVER let her forget you and I will always respect and Love you for being Jias source of LOVE.

I'm A Lucky Lady!!!!!!

2007-07-27T11:35:00.001-07:00

Today I looked at my kids and thought to myself, what did I ever do in my life to get 3 of the most amzing children....oh yeah and a pretty good husband too : ) Today the boys were playing with Jianna and it was just so nice to hear them laughing and running around, it makes me very happy to see that Jianna has bonded with her brothers and they with her....It just confirms it, Jia was so meant for this family..I can't believe it, 3 months ago she was not here with us...She just feels like she has always been with us....I could not imagine life without her...The way she has taken to her new home, surroundings , family....I just find myself looking up to her....she has gone through so many changes in the past 3 months, and she is just such a trooper, she just goes with the flow, and she tries everything...and is such a happy ,sweet little girl....She adores her brothers, and LOVES her Daddy and when she looks at me , I just have to pinch myself, I still can't believe shes ours...I'm just soooo in Love with my family....and no I'm not PMS-ing those days are over for me, I'm just taking this time to smell the roses, and boy am I lucky.....

P.S. now Tomorrow, I might be singing a different tune : )

Carmen

OUR JIANNA'S BIRTHDAY

2007-07-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

My Sweet Jianna

What can I say, you are all that was missing from my life, you have completed our family and you were sooooo worth the wait! I woke up today so happy , my baby is 2 years old...but I must admit, I also felt a little sad...because I know that out there there is a women who on this day, gave her little girl away....I wonder if she is thinking of you , if she misses you, if she wonders about you....I wonder if she is okay....if she is sad..if she tries to imaganie what you look like ....I wish I could give her a hug, and tell her that your okay, and that I thank her for giving you the gift of life, I wish that I could tell her that I will always be there for you and that I will never speak badly of her, I wish that I could show her how much you have grown, and how beautiful you are, I wish she could see you dance, sing and smile .... I want her to know that I will always tell you that there are "2" women who love you sooo much, one gave you the gift of life and the other was lucky enough to see you live it....I thank her so very much for Loving you so much so that she gave you a chance , even if it meant that she would have to live her life "wondering" , not knowing....wishing....

It angers me when those who think they know everything, judge the Chinese people for giving up their children...imagine how it would feel if you were told that you could only have one child, imagine how you would feel if you were fined for having a 2nd child, imagine how it would feel to have a baby grow inside of you , feel her kick , give birth to her and then let her go, just because you were not ALLOWED to keep her....Imagine how awful that must feel....then judge.....

I am so greatful for my Daughter, And I will never take her for granted, and I will always have respect for the women who carried her, gave birth to her and gave her a chance ....and on this day , our daughters birthday, there will alaways be "2" women who Love this amazing , beautiful girl named Jianna....

So many People Love you my Jianna
Happy Birthday

2007-07-19T09:39:00.001-07:00

Mikes B'day Surprise!

2007-07-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Mikes Birthday so Dante took him to work with him at the Colbert Report....Mike has been wanting to meet Jon Stewart, so Dante Surprise Mike and Steven and took them to meet Jon Stewart...Jon was so nice to the boys , he even took a photo with them....Thanks Jon....The boys Love that their father works on Television, because they get to meet some pretty amazing people.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET MICHAEL!

2007-07-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

Today I woke Up and realized, oh no! my baby is 15 years old today....when did that happen??? My Sweet Michael, what can I say , I am so proud of you , I am so lucky to have 2 of the sweetest boys for sons....Michael you are growing up to be such an amazing young man....You remind me so much of myself, your funny, kind, good hearted person, and such a cutie! You have overcome so much....Something we both have in common, is that we a re both dyslexic...and I am so proud of you for doing not only so well in school , but also making it onto the Honor Roll....You never stop trying , you always do your best and you never let your dyslexia bring you down....I have seen you sit at the table for hours and hours studying for test....when you don't understand something, y our never embarrassed to ask for help , I on the otherhand, was always so ashamed and never asked for help. but you are so proud and you don't care what others think and because of that , you have done so well not only in school but in life in general...I am your biggest fan, and I have and will continue to learn so much from you my son...its because of the way you are, that I now allow MYSELF to put MY head up high...I now no longer keep my dyslexia a secret, heck if Mike can do it , well so can his Mom : ) I can only hope, that I am able to teach you as much as you have taught me, you make me a better person, you make me proud, you make me happy and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Love you show me everyday of your life, thank you son....And Mike, I know that one day your gonna make one heck of a film maker....just remember, when your up there getting your 1st award....and you hear some crazy lady crying in the audience, that will just be me ....crying tears of joy....

Love you
Mom and Dad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SWEET STEVEN!!!!

2007-07-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

Today Is our stevens Birthday! I can't believe it, my baby boy is 10 years old....Steven will forever hold a very speacial place in my heart....before I had steven, I had 2 misscarriages, I thought for sure that I would never give birth to another child again....than just when u thought there was no more hope, BAM! here came steven....Now anyone who knows Our Steven knows that he is a strong minded, determined, does not give up type of boy! He's my "ROCK" and we always say " steven was a fighter in my tummy, and he was determined to see the world" So Happy Birthday My Sweet little Boy! I am so Happy that your in Our Lives....You have taught me to never give up....for if I had, I would not have you....I Love You

Your Proud Mommy

Jianna's Trip To Maine!

2007-07-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

This week we were invited to our wonderul friend Nadines Parents Lake House for a few days....What Can I say Nadines Family are such beautiful people, they treated us as if we were family, they were so nice to Mike, Steven and Jia....Mike and Steven went tubing for the first time...Nadines Brother Chris also took my boys out on the boat , poor steven wanted so badly to catch a fish,....but, No fish : ( Nadines Dad took us out on his boat and Jianna had so much fun...thanks Grandpa White.....We even had a cozy fire outside one night....Nadines Mom, on the first day took mike and steven out to kyack....and Dan even went out and joined in the fun....And we can't forget sweet Moose...Jia Liked Moose alot! (Moose is nadine and Matts Dog) It was so Beautiful to be on the Lake...and with such wonderful people....so Thank you again Grandpa and Grandma White...Nadine and Matt and the rest of the gang!!!! we had the greatest time!!!!! we are gonna miss ya!!!!!

The Pagano's

MY BEST FRIEND GERRY IS COMING !! WHOOOOHOOOO

2007-07-04T13:46:00.000-07:00

2007-07-04T13:45:00.001-07:00

Jia Went to Visit the Colbert Report

2007-06-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jianna went to visit all her buddies at the Colbert Report....Thank You everyone for being so nice to our Jia! She Loved running around, and she even got to sit in Mr. Stephen Colbert's desk!!!! What can I say our Baby is a natural : ) She even got to see Mr. Colbert in person! What a Nice guy! so thank you all at the Colbert Report for All your wonderful gifts and for dealing with my Daddy....Who knows, maybe Jianna will one day have her own show....ya never know : )

The Pagano Family

MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER

2007-06-20T16:05:00.001-07:00

My beautiful daughter
what a gift you are
when you smile my world is brighter
when you cry I feel so sad
when you sleep , I just want to look at you

My beautiful daughter
how lucky I am
I look at you and wonder what did I ever do in my life to deserve you
I look at you and I am greatful for everyday we have together
I look at you and feel so bad for the wonderful women who gave you life
I feel bad that she will never get to know you like I will
I feel bad that she will ever see how beautiful you are
I feel bad because she will never get to see you grow up like I will
I feel bad because she will never see you look up at her with your sweet smile and call her mommy
I feel bad because I will never be able to tell her thank you
thank you for loving you enough to give you a chance
a chance that perhaps she will never have for herself.

I promise her that I will love you for the both of us
I promise her that I will speak respectfully of her
I promise her that You will grow up to be a proud Chinese WOMEN
I promise her that in every monumental time in your life , I will take a moment and think of her and say thank you

Your first day of school
the day you graduate from college
the day you get engaged
on your wedding day
when you are blessed with your first child
I will look to the sky and say thank you to the women of China that loved our daughter's
so much, that they gave not only our daughters a chance, but who gave us a chance to be their mothers....

Jianna is a very lucky girl...for she will always have 2 women who love her very much
one who gave her life
and one who was there to see her live it......
Thank you

MY BEST FRIEND GERRY IS COMING SOON TO SEE HER JIANNA,,,WHOOOHOOOO

2007-06-19T06:05:00.000-07:00

2007-06-19T05:49:00.001-07:00

2007-06-19T05:44:00.001-07:00

DADDY HAD A GREAT FATHERS DAY!!!!!

2007-06-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

2007-06-18T07:15:00.001-07:00

A fathers day Poem to my Amazing Husband and wonderful father , on Fathers Day

2007-06-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

Fathers Day

What do you give a man who has given you 3 amazing gifts of life
What to you tell a man who has always helped you make your dreams come true
what do you say to a man who has shown you that love is as simple as a babies smile
a mans touch
and 3 simple words I love you.

I have such a man
His smile warms my heart
his generousity fills my soul
his touch makes me blush
his parenting makes me proud...

The answer, I just don't know what you give such a man on Fathers day...
but I will start with my heart
My soul
My Life
and the amazing gift of growing old together
and watching our 3 miracles grow
and hope that one day they too will find the Love that I have found in my man.

I Love you Dante
my husband
and father of our 3 beautiful children

I am so Greatful!

2007-06-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up , got steven ready for school...later woke up Michael so that he could go to school...woke up Dante so he could spend some time with is little girl before he left to work...Got our daughter from her crib...and I sat there smiling, wondering what did I vever do in my life to deserve such an amazing family. I am a fortunate women......

carmen pagano
Proud mama and wife

2007-06-12T12:10:00.001-07:00

2 Month anniversary with Jianna

2007-06-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, we have had our Jianna in our lives for 2 whole months! Funny thing is, she just feels as if she has always been here. I so admire her, here she is , this little girl, she left her country , has a new home and family, different language than what she is use to and she just goes with the flow...I 'm just her biggest fan...She is learning so much so fast......she copies everything we do, tries to repeat everything we say...she is always happy, and hardly ever throws a fit....There is so much that I can learn from my little Angel....You know what, when I grow up , I want to be just like her : )

Jia's proud mama

2007-06-09T10:22:00.001-07:00

Today Jianna Hosted her First Playdate

2007-06-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

Today our Sweet Jianna hosted her very first Playdate at our house....Her friends Emily, Olivia, Adelie, Maya, Mykala and her cousin Sabrina , all came to her pool PARTY and our baby girl had a BLAST! Both Jianna and I are so Lucky to have such great friends....thank you all for coming over today and making Jia's first playdate, special....

Jia and Mommy

2007-06-06T19:36:00.001-07:00

Its been 6 weeks

2007-06-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone

I can not believe it, its been over 6 weeks since our daughter has been home. What can I say, shes perfect for our family. Jianna has changed so much in the past month and a half, she is such a funny, sweet, smart, loving ,wonderful and amazing little girl...( yeah , I'm not to proud, hugh?) She loves her brothers, she adores her daddy, and what can I say her mommy can do no wrong : ) She went in the pool the other day at first not to happy, but now , oh boy!!!! she is our little fish...she is still eating everything under the sun....and has gained "4" pounds...We are just soooo in LOVE with her, what can I say " Life is good"

Jia's mommy

getting back to the swing of things

2007-04-24T05:16:00.000-07:00

well its been 4 days since Jianna and I have come home, and Jianna is adapting to her new envirnment slowly but surely...yesterday she went to see her pediatrician Dr. Lee....and poor Jianna had to have 5 shots plus they had to take blood from her....My poor baby was NOT happy at all....I felt so bad for her, but I knew it needed to be done..as we were leaving the Doctor's office, I was so happy to see Grace, Elio and Mykala in the waiting room...I did not realize just how much I really missed everyone , until I saw them....it was soooo nice to see some of my WHFC buddies....Well Jianna Is sleeping well,last night was the first time she did not wake up at all....she went to bed at 10:00 and is still sleeping at 8:00.....she adores her brothers, and is warming up to her daddy....so far so good.....I find myself just looking at her, I just can't believe that this little Angel is ours...

Carmen update with Jia

2007-04-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

Carmen met Jianna today for the first time and they hugged while exchanging tears. Group members video taped each others special moments so all is documented. Carmen told me that Jia has taken a warm liking to her after they left and went to the hotel. She walks fine ,eats well and fell asleep on the first try. Carmen sent me photos and they are beautiful. Carmen said that she feels complete now-- having her little girl. I won't be complete until they land in Jersey next Thursday.
talk to you soon---Dante

Carmen update

2007-04-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've been in touch with Carmen and she is doing great in China. Her travel group is helping her along the way. She toured the Forbidden City yesterday and will walk The GREAT WALL tomorow. After that it's off to pick up Jia. Sunday night here is Monday morning there, so at 10 or 11PM our time Easter Sunday, Carmen will meet Jianna for the first time.
I'm very proud of her. She was very nervous when she left, but she is enjoying the experience and becoming more and more confident. I will update again after she picks up our daughter.... Our DAUGHTER.... (now I'm getting nervous)

Dante

I'M GOING TO CHINA TO GET MY JIANNA!!!!!!

2007-03-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone

Well I am leaving in "10" DAYS!!!!
Heres my Itinerary

April 5th Leave for Beijing
April 6th Arrive in Beijing 1: 30 China time
Staying in Capital Hotel

April 7th Sightseeing the Great Wall
April 8th Sightseeing the Forbidden City , and in the evening see the Acrobatic show

April 9th Fly from beijing to Nanning ( GET JIANNA!!!)
Although I get her on the 9th, it will be Easter in the states!!!!
While in Nanning me and my Girl : ) will be staying in the Majestic Hotel

April 10th Registration and Noterization
April 11th Local Sightseeing,
April 12 th Local Sightseeing
april 13th local sightseeing
April 14 thats right , Local sightseeing

April 15th getting legal documents
April 16th fly from Nanning to Guangzhou and stay at the White Swan Hotel
Photos for the babies and physicals for the babies in the afternoon

April 17th Visa Appointment
April 18th Swearing n ceremony at the consulate, fetting the Visas. fly from Guangzhou back to Beijing
there we will be staying at the Sino-Swiss Hotel for 1 night

April 19TH WE ARE COMING HOME!!!!!!!
And this will be the first day of the rest of our lives : )

She's Beautiful!

2007-02-12T15:33:00.000-08:00

Feb 7, 2007

Today would be the first day that we would lay our eyes on our child. Dante and I got the call that her file was in the Long Island office....Here we are 2 years later and today would be the day that we have waited so long for. We got in the car, and of course caught every red light ....but in 15 minutes or so we were ther....On the way to the office I just kept thinking of how our lives are going to change, and how happy we will be....this has been everything we have worked and waited for...we pulled up to the building and I could not get out of the car fast enough....We opened the door and there stood our Social Worker, and our Jianna's file was on her desk...Dante and I sat down as our Social worker removed all documents from the envelope...and then she handed us thephotos...there she was our daughter...and oh how beautiful she is....she's perfect....she's our baby....and we are in Love! her cheeks are so chubby, and she has the most sweetest eyes...and those lips I just want to kiss them....she's amazing, she's everything and more....I looked at Dante and said" thats our daughter" and he just smiled....he's a proud papa. They say that there are life changing moment, and ther are moment that change your life...well , this was one of those moments...I will never be the same...we are parents to 3 beautiful children...we have seen our Daughter ( that sure sounds good) for the first time, and I must say, she is an amazing sight...we are the luckiest people!

Carmen and Dante Pagano

Feb 1, 2007 what a wonderful day!

2007-02-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

We rec'd the call today at 10:15in the morning.....what an amazing day , the feeling is one that I can't describe.....its been 2 years since we began our journey to our daughter....and we just thought that his day would never come. but here we are today, and we have a daughter. okay for so long we thought that we would name here Lianna, but after hearing her chinese name, we just all knew we had to keep it. So here is our Angels information
Chinese name Zheng, Jia
Soon to be Jia Rose Pagano or Jianna not sure yet
Dob: 7-24-05
a little over 1 yrs of age
province: guangxi
Orphanage: Fang Cheng Gang

We hope to get her file along with pictures by tuesday....
Thank you all so much
for just always being there

My Heart Can't Take it

2007-01-28T18:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, so now it's the 28th of January, and the adoption agency called me 2 days ago and told me that they should have her infor by the end of this week. Oh Boy!!! My heart is beating fast, my eyes are getting teary every so often, I'm going nutty people...To think that very soon Dante and I will be able to see pictures of our daughter...we feel so lucky, so happy, the feeling is out of this world!!!! To think , that right now in China there is a little Pagano.... You know for so long I felt sorry for myself, not being able to give birth to a another child was very difficult for us, we LOVE children, having loss 3 babies, I have to say that was the hardest thing Dante and I had ever gone through , and then being told that I could never get pregnant again, well that just about killed me... But I am a believer that my little Angels, our little babies, have guided Dante and I to our daughter...My beautiful babies will forever have a place in my heart.....they have played a very important role in my life...for they have brought me to you my Lianna Rose, now I understand, that some may not understand this....and thats okay, we all have our own beliefs....I just choose to believe that everything good or bad happens for a reason, and even though it sometimes does not make sense, in time it will. Lianna is very speacial to us....we will never take our children for granted, for we know what a gift they truly are....some say Lianna is a very lucky little girl, but Dante and I are truly the lucky ones....to have the honor, the privilege to raise this Angel, what an amazing gift....we are so greatful....

Carmen Pagano
AKA ( ONE LUCKY LADY )

One More Week

2007-01-28T09:18:00.002-08:00

I can't believe it!!!! We may see a picture of our daughter this week!!!!

My Sweet Daughter

2007-01-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

My sweet Daughter

My sweet little girl, how I wish you were here
but I realize that with every passing day, I am closer to you.
I dream of the day when you are put into my arms,
when I can feel your beautiful face
hear your little voice...

My sweet little girl , oh how I wish you knew
How much you are loved...
with every passing day my love for you grows,
with every passing day my heart breaks,
I wonder how you are, if you are being held when you cry
are you fed when you are hungry
are you comforted when you are sad.

My sweet little girl, how my heart cries for you
so much you have been through , in such little time
I cry for your birth mother, who will never know the life you will have
I cry for your birth mother, because I will never be able to say thank you
for such an amazing gift.
I cry for your birth mother, because she will never know the joy of having you in her life
I promise your birthmother that I will love you and cherish you enough for the both of us.
I promise your birthmother that I will never take you for granted.
I thank her and will thank her everyday of my life,

My sweet little girl, I soon will be there
My Sweet little Lianna Rose, mommy soon will be there
You have been in my heart for so long
you have been on my mind everyday
and soon you will be in my arms
How blessed I am for having you
My sweet little girl.

Love Your Mommy
carmen pagano

We are NEXT!!!!!

2007-01-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it, its been 2 years from the time we began our journey to our Daughter Lianna Rose Pagano....and from what we are told , we should be receiving a photo along with some information on our baby girl..Dante and I can't wait for the day when we can lay our eyes on our beautiful daughter....I have often thought of that day, and now to think that within the next 3 weeks our dreams of seeing our daughter will come true...I just feel so lucky, so greatful, words could never express how I feel ....Our boys are also so happy to see their sister, I am so proud of our son's, they are so amazing....when Dante and I were thinking of adopting, we always thought, that if our boys did not feel comfortable with us doing this, we would not, Adopting a child had to be something that the whole family wanted. Ours sons from the very begining wanted a sister just as much as we wanted a daughter.....I am so happy that our boys are such loving, and giving human beings....but I must say that I am not at all surprised by them, what can I say , they are just great kids!

So her we are 2 years later, what a wonderful year 2007 is going to be....we hope that you all enjoy following us in the next few months....1st , we will get info on our baby along with a photo and some medical information, than, let the games begin! we will have to get more paper work done, finish getting shots for the trip : ( getting all document together, pack for the trip, wait for our Visas, and TA- Travel approval from China, purchase tickets, buy things that our Angel will need....so much still to do. What a journey this has been, it has been such a long road.....but you know what this journey will make us appreciate our daughter even more....she is so worth everything we have gone through.....we Love you Lianna Rose....

I also want to thank all of our friends and family for always being there for us....I have the most amazing friends...you have kept me going these past years...sometimes when I felt that I could no longer go on, you have kept me on my feet..you have been my stength...Lianna is so blessed to have all of you in her life....Dante and I are so lucky to have you all....so again Thank you so very much....we love you , appreciate you and cherish you so very much.

So hang on eveeryone!!!!
we are in for the ride of our lives....
Thank you for sharing in our journey

with much Love
Carmen, Dante
and Michael and Steven Pagano
And letsnot forget The Diva " Lianna"